Are the Kids Really Alright?

Marriage-Alliance-Australia-Kids-Alright.jpgIn all of the chaos caused by the push for the legalisation of same-sex marriage, the same-sex marriage lobby tries to gloss over how growing up in a homosexual household is affecting children. As the first wave of these children reach adulthood, they are drawing attention to the important reality of their situation, which is an inconvenient truth for some.

On a recently aired episode of ABC’s You Can’t Ask That, Melbourne woman Millie Fontana, the daughter of a lesbian couple, shared some of her concerns about children being raised by same-sex couples. According to, Fontana described the struggles which she faced as a child, who desperately wanted to connect with the father she had never been allowed to know: 

When participants were asked did they ever wish they’d grown up with their biological parents, Millie said she loved both her mums and her dad equally, “Yeah. Straight up”.

“For me having that understanding of who my father was would have benefited me to go into things like school ... more confidently.” 

“I would cling to men in other families.” 

She “had issues with fatherlessness” and was angry about it growing up.

When she met her father she “knew who I was. I knew who everyone was. I knew my heritage.” 

“My father was a friend of my mum’s from high school. open to a relationship with us if that’s something that rose up in the future. But it was strongly insinuated that we were fatherless,” she said. 

“It was all about what they wanted, really. People wanted to know if we knew who our father was ... and rightfully so, because it was something that we all struggled with growing up.

“I would cling to men in other families. I would spend an almost unhealthy amount of time at their houses because I was fascinated by that heterosexual family structure.”

At one point, Fontana expressed her anger at the lack of regard to the needs of children in conversations about “equality”:

“This is my main issue with the gay community right now. These people that think they have a right to decide which parents the children have access to.”

The program also featured eight other children from similar parenting situations. Notably, they all expressed similar discomforts they had experienced growing up in an environment with two ‘parents’ of the same sex. One thing in particular resonated with most of the children: how awkward the ‘birds-and-the-bees’ discussion was with their parents. 

Some parents opted for carefully-left sex education books. Others ploughed on with the awkward explanations. One child got lessons in deleting her internet search histories after her parents found she was Googling for answers. 

The common thread in the answers from the participants revealed that in one way or another, their childhood included a struggle with their identity and longing for their ‘parents’.

Despite what the LGBTI community would like us to believe, there are consequences to the redefinition of marriage. Children are directly and drastically affected by being raised by parents of the same sex. For people like Millie, this situation gave her a critical, unfulfilled need for a father figure. For others, it produced feelings of shame, and directly affected how they were raised or taught.

Is this the legacy we want for the children of Australia? More importantly, is it right to put children through these emotional hardships to please the desire of adults, however real and intensely felt? Does it not break the unwritten code of sometimes even making personal sacrifices in order to ensure what is best for our children? The same-sex marriage lobby doesn’t want us to know the truth that these children represent – children are deeply affected when raised by same-sex couples, and not affected in positive ways: the children are hurt.

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